well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
