Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
