i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
