Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
