i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Quick, to the slutcave!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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