Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize