Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
