sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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