Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
