So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
