u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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