dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
