No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
