god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize