Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
