i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize