I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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