It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
