You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
