Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
