Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
