does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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