Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
