Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
