So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
