I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
