dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The power of my boobs compel you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
