i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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