My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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