so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize