He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
