I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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