Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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