His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
