I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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