Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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