walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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