It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
