don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
