found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
