Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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