and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
