Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
