It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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