stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
