; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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