It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
