Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
