She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
