I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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