Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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