nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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