If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
