They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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