is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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