dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
