see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize