kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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