they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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