I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Panties = found
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
