yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
