so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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