I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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