so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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